We live in a paradox.
With smartphones in our pockets, video calls a click away, and social media constantly buzzing, we are more connected than ever before. Yet, something vital is missing. People feel lonelier, more isolated, and emotionally exhausted than at any point in recent history.
So what happened?
In a recent episode of Mirror Talk: Soulful Conversations, host Tobi sat down with relationship coach and author Keith Spurgin to unpack this pressing issue. Together, they explored what it means to be truly known—not just followed or liked—and how we can move beyond surface-level interactions to build deep, life-giving relationships.
The Loneliness Epidemic in a Hyperconnected Age
Despite the constant pings and notifications, more people than ever feel unseen. Keith explains:
“We carry devices more powerful than the ones that sent men to the moon, but many of us don’t know how to sit face-to-face and share our hearts.”
The illusion of connection has replaced the substance of real, meaningful relationships.
From Unknown to Known: Building Real Relationships
Being known is more than sharing selfies or life updates—it’s about being understood, accepted, and valued. Keith believes that the path to this kind of connection begins with vulnerability:
“You have to risk your heart if you want real connection.”
That risk can be terrifying—but it’s the gateway to the kind of relationships we all crave.
Trust, Healing, and Leadership in Relationships
Broken trust is one of the biggest barriers to connection. Whether it’s in marriages, friendships, or institutions, once trust is lost, it takes courage and consistency to rebuild.
Key advice from Keith:
- Acknowledge your mistakes
- Invite honest feedback
- Lead with humility, not ego
And if you’re in a leadership role, authenticity is your greatest asset. As Keith puts it:
“Leaders who are vulnerable build trust—leaders who fake it eventually fall.”
Navigating Stagnant or Struggling Relationships
What if your relationship feels stuck?
Keith recommends:
- Having the hard conversation
- Inviting fun back into the relationship
- Choosing intentional growth over emotional avoidance
Sometimes, it’s the uncomfortable relationships that grow us the most.
Creating a Circle of Supportive, Life-Giving Relationships
Building strong relationships doesn’t happen by accident. It takes effort. Keith encourages us to:
- Identify people who challenge and inspire you
- Initiate regular, honest conversations
- Surround yourself with people who push you to be better
Final Reflections: What Truly Matters
If Keith could speak to his younger self, he’d say:
“Focus more on connection than perfection. People won’t remember your resume—they’ll remember how you made them feel.”
Whether you’re a leader, a parent, a partner, or a friend—the foundation of your success and happiness lies in your relationships.
What You Can Do Today
- Ask yourself: Who in my life do I want to know better—and be known by?
- Choose vulnerability over performance
- Take the first step toward rebuilding broken connections
Listen to the Full Episode
Available now on all major platforms: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, etc
🔗 Learn more about Keith’s work: growthresourcing.org
Keith Spurgin is a Relationship Coach, a Leader to leaders, an Author, an avid Cyclist, and a Pastor. He is known for his practical advice and helping people live better lives while making their mark in the world.
Share the Love
💌 Know someone who feels stuck or lonely? Share this post. Let’s build a more connected world—one conversation at a time.

Keith Spurgin: How to Find True Connection in a Disconnected World – Mirror Talk: Soulful Conversations
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